I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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