Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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