he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
