I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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