found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
