sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
