I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
