This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
