The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
