He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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