Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
