Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
