Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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