no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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