So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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