I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
