I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
