I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
