Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize