The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
