think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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