Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
