Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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