? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm both gender and math confused
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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