last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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