I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
