ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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