I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
