He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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