sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
