I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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