I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
