White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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