I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i think my mom watched the whole time
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
