Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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