I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
