I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
