Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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