you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
