I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
