I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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