Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
