Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
