You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
