ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
nutella sex= disaster
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
