We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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