Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
