Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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