dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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