and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
