ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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