We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
