Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
