i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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