I wish I could punch you in the face.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
