I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
