no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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