My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
