What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
