Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
