dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
