My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Two words: blizzard sex
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
