Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
