Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
