Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
