I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
